I take a risk with this blog’s video.  I am new to using advanced features in powerpoint and new to converting powerpoint to a video format. I hope you enjoy it (more importantly I hope my point is clear!) and while I am open to feedback, please be gentle 🙂

More time and energy is wasted on escalating “email wars.” I have been both instigator and hapless recipient. Why do we do this? A few reasons come to mind:

1. We misread the intent behind the email because so much of the visual and emotional context is missing.
2. We are stressed and have lost perspective and don’t think we have time to deal with an issue.
3. We work on a virtual team and so face to face immediate contact isn’t possible (there’s a bit of an excuse here but with technologies like Skype not so much.)
4. We don’t have a whole lot of emotional intelligence, in particular self and relationship management.
5. We’re better writers than talkers and there’s a fair bit of satisfaction to be gained from a brilliantly (albeit destructively) worded email.
6. We’re procrastinators and it’s more interesting to engage in an email war than get on with a really difficult project.
7. We read meaning into an email (whether real or imagined is not important) about our overall competence or identity and feel a need to come to our own defense.
8. We’ve been avoiding a difficult conversation with someone for some time and seize the opportunity to be righteous.
9. We poked at wasp’s nests as kids and the pattern is still alive and well and thriving.
10. We’re cowards, willing to put something in an email, but not address an issue face to face.

Outside of #9, I think I’ve been guilty of all of these although in the last few years I have learned some skills. Here’s what I try to do:

BREATHE … Breathe, Resist (React), Explore, Alternatives, Time, Honest, Expression

Put together … Breathe, resist the urge to react, explore alternative interpretations, take time before responding, take an honest look at your motivations and come up with an authentic and positive expression … whether that is heading down the hallway and having a face to face chat or asking your colleague halfway across the world for a skype call the next convenient time.

Oh, and BTW, BREATHE works if you are instigator or hapless recipient 🙂

This blog is based on the 3 of Diamonds, Don’t Use Email to Manage Conflict, from our Teamwork Explorer. Written by Tammy